I Am Stuck
We previously talked about staying in relationships where trust was broken (click here for blog on ‘Loss of Trust’). When we are in a relationship that is unsafe, why do we stay?
What is unsafe? Any relationship in which we lose our identity (Click here for blog on “I vs We”.) or lose trust in the other person is an unsafe relationship. The purpose of a loving relationship is to provide a safe place for our partner to grow and experience their journey. Obviously, the relationship will work better if our partner provides the same safety to us as we do for them. If I have to conform to someone’s demands, and I lose my identity, then that relationship is no longer safe for my journey.
But why do I stay? The old adage is “The devil I know is better than the devil I don’t know”. There is a fear about leaving the security of a relationship, because we have no idea what will happen outside of the world we have formed. So even if the known world is unsafe, it is better than what we may find. Or we may stay because of religious or social dictates. Once again, the pain of others disapproval is too hard to bear, so we stay in a unsafe place to avoid it.
Whatever the reason, it is important to remind ourselves that we are never stuck in a relationship, it is simply our choice to stay where we feel best, even if best is not safe. We are never stuck; we are never victims; we just make choices.
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