Sunday, November 28, 2010

Roles in relationship

I think that modern romance can be really confusing. I agree that at its core is the realities of the modern woman. A woman having choices and empowered to be equal with a man. We want and deserve that however we still want a man to have the masculine qualities that keep us intrigued. So we want a man who is in control but who is not controlling, a man who allows us to be in charge when we need to be yet can still be the one to make the plans or be there to nurture us. I guess the key is partnership. As in the book Signal 30,( see http://www.jttwerell.com/) Stacey and Shane seem to have an equal respect for each other, yet still are able to hold to the masculine and feminine roles creating a believeable modern romance. Sometimes I think it may have been easier when male and female roles were distinctly defined. Does this make any sense? Dr. Jan

Saturday, November 27, 2010

The First Romance Story - The Garden of Eden

THE FIRST ROMANCE STORY…..The Garden of Eden                                                                                     Over the thousands of years that the Torah and Bible proclaimed the story of creation, the potential impact of all the story contained was greatly reduced. Religion depicted the Garden of Eden as a place of man’s “fall”  into  “sin”.  In reading the story over the years I was struck with one verse that didn’t seem to find its way into most discussions about the creation story. In Genesis Chapter 5 vs 1,2;  the story tells us, “In the beginning God created them. Male and female created He them and CALLED THEIR NAME ADAM.” To me, this was a key verse as it depicted the relationship of the species before the “fall “. The male and the female were both named “Adam” by God, a statement of unity rather than division. After the fall, when the species was now in a place of “knowing good and evil” the male was now Adam and the female was Eve.
In my book, I Am Adam,  (see www.JTTwerell.com) I have taken that verse and developed a different approach to the story of creation. It is now a love story, a true original Romance.      In “I am Adam” the male and female are found as equal s who share in the adventure of this new creation called earth. They learn to love each other, and the world around them without thought of self or possession.   To me this is the beginning of understanding the complexity of Relationship and Romance. To truly have relationship, we must have equality. I realize that the religious understanding of the Garden of Eden shows a duality with the dominance of patriarchal order, but that division came after the creation. In the original order there was not dominance and submission, there was equality. In contemporary relationships and romance, the foundation must begin with equality. What does that mean? We will follow that thought in the next blog, but if anyone has an insight, this is the time to share it.  Dr. T & Dr. J

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Romance?

Romance
                        The term modern romance often conjures up thought s of hot steamy love affairs with fantasy men and perfect women. While this may be part of the focus for some modern romance, the core to understanding modern romance has to be an understanding of the modern woman. The last 30 years provided a backdrop for the emergence of the modern woman into a world that was, in many ways, ill-prepared for her arrival. While the women’s movement of the 60’s paved a new road, the true modern woman was not defined by or constrained within social\political ideals. Rather, she was simply a woman who walked upon a stage as an equal, and not as a possession. While she still struggled with equality in many segments, her main stress came not from without but from within. “Now that I can be what I want, who am I”?
The urge to be competitive in the new open market, and still maintain her own unique feminine identity was and continues to be a daily struggle for the modern woman.    In modern romance, this struggle needs to come to the forefront. While it is still an enjoyable fantasy to dream of being shipwrecked on a deserted Island with a rock solid male who provides every aspect of romance and sexual intrigue; it is simply a fantasy.
 Continuing thoughts is designed to be a forum for the modern romance  and relationships that reflects the freedom and struggles of the modern woman and the modern couple.   Dr. J.T Twerell and Dr. Janetta Astone, both practicing therapist in the New York City metropolitan area, work with men, women, and couples who attempt to navigate the maze of relationships in this modern society. Their clients, who represent a solid cross section of modern society, provide deep insight regarding the joy and struggle facing the modern woman, and her counterpart, the modern male. Their weekly blog provides a forum for thoughts and discussion from all interested individuals. These discussion topics allow a focus on many specific areas that are important to members of the community. In addition, the books in Dr. Twerell’s website www.JTTwerell.com provide a fictional plethora of Modern Romance that truly allows both male and female readers an opportunity to explore the joy and adventure of romantic

I Like Me

One of the primary requirements of good relationships is the ability to like yourself.  If we are counting on  someone to create our po...