Defining roles and remaining equal. Now there is a program that will take a lot of work. As we stated in our last blog, Equality in Relationships, the core to building a strong romantic relationship is the ability to have USA or Unconditional Self Acceptance.
Every relationship starts when the individual “I” decides to merge somehow into a form of “we”. In the relationship, the strength of the “I”, or the individual, is not diminished: rather it is encouraged by what the “WE” is able to accomplish as a mutual task. While a piece of each “I” is sacrificed to the “WE”, it still remains the “I” but now finds greater joy in the strength of the “WE” which generally is a place of expansion for the “I”.
For example “I” may not understand Impression Art, but by merging with another “I” who does understand this, “I” am now expanding.
However, if the “I” is broken or insecure, then it may demand that the other “I” become just as broken or wounded.
On the other hand, if the broken “I” is weaker, then it may lose identity and become a pawn to the stronger “I”.
If both the “I”’s are broken and lack USA (Unconditional Self Acceptance) then each will attempt to contol the other to gain acceptance.
Every relationship starts when the individual “I” decides to merge somehow into a form of “we”. In the relationship, the strength of the “I”, or the individual, is not diminished: rather it is encouraged by what the “WE” is able to accomplish as a mutual task. While a piece of each “I” is sacrificed to the “WE”, it still remains the “I” but now finds greater joy in the strength of the “WE” which generally is a place of expansion for the “I”.
For example “I” may not understand Impression Art, but by merging with another “I” who does understand this, “I” am now expanding.
However, if the “I” is broken or insecure, then it may demand that the other “I” become just as broken or wounded.
On the other hand, if the broken “I” is weaker, then it may lose identity and become a pawn to the stronger “I”.
If both the “I”’s are broken and lack USA (Unconditional Self Acceptance) then each will attempt to contol the other to gain acceptance.
When this takes place, there will always be a sense of resentment and loss, which will gradually erode the joy of the “we”.
The “We” is a place that the “I”’s voluntarily work on, but it is never a place that the “I” becomes lost in.
In good relationships, the question that must be answered first is “Who Am I”? If I unconditionally accept who I am, then I will not demand you change to make me whole. That is the start of Romance and Relationship. As always, share your thoughts here on the blog or email us at JTTwerell@JTTwerell.com.
Dr. T and Dr. Jan.
Have some fun with our daily blog Just Say'n
The “We” is a place that the “I”’s voluntarily work on, but it is never a place that the “I” becomes lost in.
In good relationships, the question that must be answered first is “Who Am I”? If I unconditionally accept who I am, then I will not demand you change to make me whole. That is the start of Romance and Relationship. As always, share your thoughts here on the blog or email us at JTTwerell@JTTwerell.com.
Dr. T and Dr. Jan.
Have some fun with our daily blog Just Say'n
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