Our general recommendation for this problem is to determine what passions exist in the individual client's life. Is it art, religion, education, sports, etc.? Once that is determined, then begin to pursue that passion. If a person has a real passion for art; go take a class in art. If you love music; find a class in music appreciation or check in with a local school to see what music courses are offered. Obviously, if religion or spiritual passions exist, find a church or synagog to attend.
In this process two things are accomplished:
- The individual is pursuing their passion which provides a more positive outlook on life.
- The individual is now in contact with people who have similar passion, a good place to find someone who may be "dateable".
This approach is healthier and more effective than "Bar hopping" or "Clubbing". Generally the atmosphere in the bars and clubs is fun, but not really conducive to building long term lasting relationships. Internet dating has some advantages and disadvantages, which we will discuss in our next blog.
Case study was Jane, a 32 year old attorney, single, and not happy. She loved to travel and had a passion for photography. Jane had played the bar scene and was burned out with the problems it presented. She followed our advise and enrolled in a class for computer editing of photography. There she met a man who shared the same interest, developed a relationship with him, and is now married to him. Obviously, not all the cases work this well, but the success rate with this approach is rather impressive.
Let us know your thoughts in the comment section or email us at JTTwerell@JTTwerell.com. We appreciate all who join in as followers and ask that you consider joining us if you haven't already done so.
Agree - sharing a passion can create very good basis for a long term relationship, provided that the passion, whatever it is, is SHARED, not divided or dividing :)
ReplyDeleteYour right JM
ReplyDeletePassion and Harmony = good relationship
I find this post interesting, Dr T. Thanks for writing it. I have to say that I have read it more than once and each time I am left with a nagging feeling that it is somehow incomplete, or perhaps that more could be written on the subject. For both men and women. It's wonderful that things fell into place for your case study but without thinking about it too hard I know at least 5 successful, beautiful, smart, talented, funny women who do the very things you suggest but, for a wide array of reasons, still find themselves single or dateless on the weekends. I could share my own stories too. Dating in our modern society can be very challenging.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thought Leah. I wish there was one great answer to this problem, but it is multifaceted. The key thing is to be happy with yourself and feel positive about your life. Happy healthy people attract other happy healthy people. Maybe I am just prejudiced, but I really think the urban environment, in spite of its many offerings, is more difficult than suburban living. Not suggesting we all leave the city, but would love to have others thoughts on this.
ReplyDelete