In our work, we often find relationships fail because the individuals have expectations that outstrip reality.
A loving relationship is a place we go to for safety and security, but it is not there to make us better individuals. We often tell our clients they are, individually, the best cupcake God ever created. They are perfect, wonderful, exciting, and complete just as they are, because they were made that way. If someone wants to put frosting on them, it is a nice addition, but it doesn’t change the fact they are perfect just as they are.
If we think we need to have another person in our life so we can be whole, then we are missing the beauty of who we are as an individual. People who see themselves as lacking will attract others who feel the same way. It is the simple law of sowing and reaping. If I sow out that I am a broken or lacking person, I will harvest back the same thing. But whole and happy people attract back other whole and happy people.
In reality, all of us have areas, which are not “perfect”; it is just part of life. Nevertheless, if we have areas that are “less than” then we also have areas that are “more than”. The question is, which one do I focus on as my primary identity. If I focus on my “less than”, then I will be looking for someone to fix me. But if I focus on my “more than” then I will attract others who have strengths they feel good about also.
From our experience, when two positive energy forces meet, they seem to automatically balance each other in strength and weakness, without really trying.
Why? Because they are not focused on their weakness, they are operating in their strength, and this will always provide a healthy journey.
One of our clients is a very brilliant professional, but couldn’t seem to attract the “right” relationships. Our client, due to a rather difficult childhood, had grown up with a strong sense of her “less than” side. Even though she was successful, she saw herself as broken, and thus attracted other broken relationships. Over a period of time, she was able to change her self-evaluation to one of “achiever” instead of “failure”. This transformation completely refocused her life perspective, and she began to attract others (both male and female) who were confident and whole people. She is now happily married and has a very positive relationship with her husband and many friends.
She sees herself as the best cupcake every created by God. The frosting is great, but it is not essential for her life.
How do you see your cupcake?
What are your thoughts? Email us at email@example.com or comment below. If you want to be a follower of the blog, click on the “Follower” Box. We send special email to followers and also will answer personal questions in a private email. We also provide internet counseling by Skype or phone. Email us if we can help.