Forgivness -The Key to Freedom

 

Mark Twain once wrote: What a wee little part of a person’s life are his or her acts and words! Their real life is led in their head, and is known to none but them self.

The deep truth of Mark Twain’s words is painful when we consider how many thoughts we have on an hourly basis, which are known only to our self. I may smile at someone, but my thoughts may be in a hundred places at that moment and have very little to do with my smile. For instance:

I don’t like this person. I am going to be late. Why do they always dress so well? I remember when I dressed well. Why am I so angry? I hate smiling when I am in a hurry. I wonder if I turned the iron off.

These random waterfall of thoughts will generally pass through our mind and not take roost. However, one thought pattern can have catastrophic impact on our daily emotional journey - LACK OF FORGIVENESS. This thought pattern is a source of inner conflict reflecting historical happenings, which have nothing to do with the present moment, but will cause us to plummet into the ibis of unhealthy thoughts as we attempt to navigate our daily life.

There are many people, places or events in any life, which leave wounds and hurts in our memory and then we relive them when they choose to surface. If a person caused me pain ten years ago, then why am I giving my current energy to this past happening? My lack of forgiveness will contain a great deal of negative energy, which will impact my current journey, yet not impact the person who I am now choosing not to forgive in the past

Tehyi Hsieh (1884-1972) a Chinese philosopher once wrote:

A road that does not lead to other roads must always be retraced, 

unless a traveler chooses to rust at the end of it.

"Lack of forgiveness" is such a road we may travel down repeatedly and then have to turn around and return to our journey; a perfect waste of time. 

Or, another choice is to go down the road of “lack of forgiveness”, then just stay at the end of this road and rust until we die. This is a terrible waste of a journey, but lack of forgiveness is a dirty, dusty road, which many simply choose to make as their final destination. 

The pains of the past are real and we need to embrace them as part of our journey. But once embraced, we then need to leave the pain in the past, forgive the person or event which caused the pain, and then move on with our journey. 

If we choose to stay in the painful place, then the perpetrator of our pain will not be held back, only we will, and this is a choice with no positive outcome.

Thoughts for the Journey of Life

Over the last years, as a couple and as practicing therapists, we watched our journey take many different detours and adjustments, but as a couple we have tenaciously held on to our journey plan of loving each other and making the best of what we experienced.

The new book is a compilation of some thoughts and exercises from our journey, which we anticipate may help others as a roadmap or a GPS to keep them on course in order to reach their destinations.

For more information on how to order our book (click here).