I am stuck!

We previously talked about staying in relationships where trust was broken (click here forblog on ‘Loss of Trust’). When we are in a relationship that is unsafe, why do we stay?

First, let us set some concept of what is unsafe? Any relationship in which we lose our identity (Click here for blog on “I vs We”.) or lose total trust in the other person is an unsafe relationship.  

The purpose of a loving relationship is to provide a safe place for our partner to grow and experience their journey. Obviously, the relationship will work better if our partner provides the same safety to us as we do for them. If I have to conform to someone’s demands, and I lose my identity, then this relationship is no longer safe for my journey.

But why do I stay? The old adage is “The devil I know is better than the devil I don’t know”. There may be a fear about leaving the security of a relationship, because we have no idea what will happen outside of the world we have formed. So even if our known world is unsafe, it may be better than what we may find outside.

Another reason we may stay is because of religious or social dictates. Once again, the pain of others disapproval is too hard to bear, so we stay in an unsafe place to avoid it.

Whatever the reason, it is important to remind ourselves we are never stuck in a relationship, it is simply our choice to stay where we feel best, even if best is not safe. We are never stuck; we are never victims; we just make choices. This is difficult to grasp, especially when we are seemingly caught in this relationship trap, but is it really a trap or is it a place I stay because of fear?

What are your thoughts? Email us at nyccc1@aol.com or comment below. If you want to be a follower of the blog, click on the “Follower” Box.

My book about finding balance in relationships is called FOREVER YOURS. It is the fictional story of a man and women who fall in love in the 60's, raise a family and learn how to overcome the challenges of life in order to truly find their own relationship together. You can find out more at Amazon (click here). Or go to my website for more information. (Click here)

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