Communication with each other is an art of listening rather than debating The old adage is God blessed us with two ears and one mouth for a reason! When we talk more than listen, we are often providing an outlet for our ego to convince the world around us we are right and they are wrong.
The biggest barrier to good communication is what we call the "finger in the face" approach to sharing opinions. For example, If I say;
"I like football better than Baseball."
and a person replies;
"That is ridiculous. Baseball is a national sport in this country and more people like baseball than stupid football."
The conversation is now over.
The person who heard my statement has now challenged me and put a finger in my face. I will now try to prove my point and they will try to prove their point and we will cease to communicate as we now become defensive of our position.
We all have opinions on everything and other people will often have different opinions. We don't have to agree, we just need to hear the other persons opinion and respect the differences we share.
When couples disagree, it is a place of growth rather than a place of conflict. If I like baseball, it is something I have an opinion about and my opinion is simply a perspective I adapted over time. If the other person enjoys football, it is their developed opinion. If we share our differences without trying to change the other persons perspective, then we have a good chance of forming another new opinion or at least growing by having a better understanding of a different opinions.
We don't have to agree, but it is good to listen to different understandings and then see if we can benefit from this knowledge. If we can't, it is okay, as we can respect our differences and go on with life.
If we use two ears to listen and one mouth to speak, communication will greatly improve.
Any thoughts? Share them with us in the comments section or write us at nyccc1@aol.com. Join the blog by becoming a Follower in the box on the right and we will send you a note every time we have a new post. For more information on our counseling go to NYCCC.ORG
If interested in a faith based approach to counseling see my book Inner Space (click here).
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