Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Holliday's Suck

A reader sent in the following:
 “ I read your blog on acting like a “Victim” (click here to see that blog) and I do agree with your thoughts, however, yearend holidays leave me feeling very alone and frustrated. I am 41, divorced, no children, and scattered family. I didn’t choose to be here, but here I am. Is that being a victim, or am I just feeling sorry for myself?” Sidney

Sidney; this may be hard to hear, but feeling sorry for your self is victim thinking. The assumption things happened to me and now I am in such a bad place is faulty thinking. 

Obviously, we don’t know all the details about your 41 years of life, but we would venture to say nobody forced you to get married, get divorced, have no children, and be distant from your family. Those areas all reflect independent choices, and thus no room for victim thinking.

No matter how we got to this place, being lonely is difficult. However, once again this is a choice. There are thousands of organizations in need of help during the holidays providing a good place to meet people. There are personal development challenges you could take (vacation, a health spa, visit one of your scattered family members, etc.).

  It is never the people, places, or events in our lives that cause us negative emotions; it is what we believe about the people, places, and events that bring about our emotional health or pain.

A year from now will be the same set of holidays as you are experiencing today. What choices will you make this year so you will be in a better place at this time next year?  There are parties and there are pity parties; each of us can choose which one to attend.

One of the resources our client use is our book INNER SPACE (CLICK HERE). It is a guide for spiritually oriented therapy and provides help for reflective healing.
Inner Space: A Guide to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy from a Spiritual Perspective

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