When we desire to set healthy boundaries we often find, fear, guilt and self-doubt are big potential pitfalls. We may fear the other person’s response if we set and enforce our boundaries. We might feel guilty by speaking up or saying no to a family member. Many believe they should be able to cope with a situation or say yes because they’re a good daughter, son or friend. They do this even though they “feel drained or taken advantage of.” They might wonder if they even deserve to have boundaries in the first place.
Boundaries aren’t just a sign of a healthy relationship; they’re a sign of self-respect. So give yourself the permission to set boundaries and work to preserve them.
Self-respect is a decision that this life we are living is simply a journey from one unknown location to another unknown. No matter what our religious belief, we have never established tangible proof of what preceded our life nor what happens when life ends. We have beliefs, but no proof.
Therefore all we have is the knowledge that I am here, it is my life, my show, my road to navigate. If I take a trip in my car and stop to ask directions, the first question I will face is “Where are you going?” The journey of life is similar to this trip; we can ask many people for direction but unless we have some idea where we are going, we will end up in places we never anticipated.
To set good boundaries, determine some idea of where you want to go in your journey. Do I want to go toward peace or toward anxiety? Is my goal to end up with joy or with misery? Once you have a good sense of where you want to go, then establish boundaries that allow you to arrive at your destination. Fear, guilt and self-doubt will only plague us when we aren’t sure of where we want to go in our journey.
The bible states “without a vision my people parish.” What is your vision and what boundaries help keep you moving toward that vision.
My book "Forever Yours" is a story about a journey where boundaries are discovered and established over a 50 year marriage. It is a story of the baby boomer generation but as one reviewer states "It is simply a beautiful journey through the complicated pathway of what we call life." Click here for more information on "Forever Yours."
My book "Forever Yours" is a story about a journey where boundaries are discovered and established over a 50 year marriage. It is a story of the baby boomer generation but as one reviewer states "It is simply a beautiful journey through the complicated pathway of what we call life." Click here for more information on "Forever Yours."
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