RELATIONSHIPS AND HONESTY

Please – be honest


The quality of a relationship is always based on the honesty of the individuals involved. Honesty is a rather large brush stroke, so let’s break it down into some smaller concepts.

1. Honesty in expressing what I am thinking. This is often more difficult for men than women, as men generally love to bypass digging too deep into what they are feeling. However, if I am not expressing what I really feel, then I am operating out of fear. If I tell you what you want to hear so you won’t be upset, then I am afraid of your being upset. It is hard to be happy when I live in fear.

2. Honesty in not trying to make you be another me. This honesty is the drive of many unhealthy relationships and it reflects the thought: “If he/she would just do it my way things would be okay”. That is the ego intensive concept that “I know what is best for both me and you”. A relationship with that thinking as a foundation simply says, “I don’t love you, I just love it when you are like me”. This thinking reflects a strong need to control because I am in charge.

3. Honesty is not making you my dirty mirror. The “dirty mirror” syndrome is when we have characteristics we don’t like about ourselves, but refuse to deal with them constructively. We then find the similar trait in another and project our judgment and anger on them. If I am constantly angry because my partner is lazy, it is a good idea to check and see if I also hate the fact that I am lazy, even though I never admit that I am. Strong judgmental opinions about others, especially those close to us, are generally a projection of our own flaws.

Honesty is often a difficult journey because our society takes such pride in subordinating truth. Our advertisements are always slanted, we don’t really trust our leaders, we pretend that everything is great in our lives so others will admire us, we teach our children to be untruthful in many ways and in many lives, we don’t even trust a spiritual presence as being something that loves us. How do we change this? Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself, who am I?…..Please be honest in your answer. If you have an honest relationship with yourself, you will have more honest relationships with others.

Do you have thoughts on relationships and romance? Please share them with us and with each other by filling out the comments section below.

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