Friday, February 1, 2019


Our journey as counselors has always been highly dependent on spiritual understandings. Over many years of client interaction, we have concluded religion in all forms often makes our spiritual journey difficult. 

Churches, Synagogs, Mosques and other places of religious gathering are important in joining together and celebrating our common beliefs, but when this gathering becomes more important than our spiritual journey, it is no longer a place of growth, rather a place of frustration. If our journey of life is to be positive and fulfilling, we need to set aside all the confusing strong judgements of religion and embrace the reality of love

All emotions begin in either Love or Fear. Most religions agree "God is Perfect Love" and therefore the culmination of all experience in the eternal plan of life. If we find ourselves in any emotion other than Love, we need to experience and understand this emotion, then seek for the way Love provides a better option.

The Christian bible states "Perfect Love casts out Fear (1 John 4:18)" but we will never understand the power of Perfect Love until we experience Fear. 

For example: A person will never understand tall unless exposed to short, wet until knowing dry, peace until knowing anger. 

Knowing about the shadow or fear side of life gives us the ability to understand the light side, which is love. With both these options clearly understood, we make a choice as to which to follow.

Fear always presents itself when love appears, but turning from the fear allows a life of creative peace and love. For example:

I love you (statement of love)
Do you really love me? (statement of fear)
I really love you  (statement of love)
How long will he/she love me? (statement of fear)

I will never leave you or forsake you (God's Perfect Love)
But what if I don’t do things right (Religious Fear)

The creative journey depends on trusting the fact that God loves us and does not judge us but simply observes how we use our gift of life. Most religions teach that God is the source of Unconditional Love

However, religion then goes on to tell us what conditions we have to meet in order to receive Unconditional Love. 

This is confusing as how can it be unconditional if it has conditions?

When we live outside of the Perfect Love, we will most likely do and say things which will provide a less than fulfilling life. While these actions fall outside of Perfect Love, we are always loved unconditionally even if our actions may be imperfect. We may find judgement for our inappropriate actions, but our essence or intrinsic nature is always loved unconditionally. 

On a human level, we may not like a persons behaviors or words but we will not judge them as a person, only dislike their action. 

Our life journey is to choose who we will be and then experience what we create. If I choose to be a person of peace then love will guide me. But if I choose to abide in anger or anxiety, then fear is my guiding force.This process teaches us how to know what Love and Fear are. By experiencing these opposite feelings, we then have the choice to walk in either one or the other and learn from them.

 Whatever the choice we make, it will provide information and guidance for our eternal journey.

Ultimately, God's love is always with us, for nothing can separate us from the love of God. It is this Unconditional Perfect Love, which allows us to experience life and make decisions we about, "Who I Am". 

This Perfect Love will never condemn, it will only observe. No matter what I create, it is always something useful in understanding Perfect Love. As long as we trust Perfect Love is there for us, our journey will be positive. If we doubt this Perfect Love, then we walk with fear, and we will create more fear.

Spend a few moment asking yourself what you truly believe about God's Perfect, Unconditional Love. We can't live positively unless we really believe it.


Over the last years, as a couple and as practicing therapists, we watched our journey take many different detours and adjustments, but as a couple we have tenaciously held on to our journey plan of loving each other and making the best of what we experienced.

The new book is a compilation of some thoughts and exercises from our journey, which we anticipate may help others as a roadmap or a GPS to keep them on course in order to reach their destinations.

For more information on how to order our book (click here)

No comments:

Post a Comment

I Like Me

One of the primary requirements of good relationships is the ability to like yourself.  If we are counting on  someone to create our po...