In our Blog “Hot Steamy Body = romance?”( click here to read that blog), we talked about the reality of true romance. In that blog we discussed the ideal of romantic connection as one in which we can express our sensations and intuitions. We talked about the romance of touching life with our senses, but now we want to explore romance from an intuitive side. By Intuitive we mean the perception of a total situation non-rationally. It is the ability to view life through general impressions and abstract ideas, rather than concrete detail. In modern thinking, it is living “out of the box”. Sensation, as we previously studied, is an intense perception of physical world. Intuition is ignoring the perception and creating our own reality.
A couple we had in therapy, who were in a relationship going nowhere, desperately wanted to turn up the fire and find a romantic connection. They had dated for two years, been married for a year, and now felt bored with the relationship. While this may be difficult to understand for many people, in our experience, this is the plague of a vast majority of relationships today.
We spent time talking to them about how they handled life from a very precise intellectual position in which rational thinking was the foundation. They had successful jobs, were physically in good shape, lived in a nice home, and had good solid friendships. They were in touch with their thinking and planning side of life, but void in the sensation and intuitive.
For a few weeks, we had them explore the sensation part of their relationship, using exercises similar to those found in “Hot Steamy Body=Romance?”. They began to feel improvement but still lacked the depth of romantic connection they had formerly experienced. Our challenge to them was to spend a month living with an “Out of the Box- Off the Wall” mentality. Be impromptu, impulsive, unexpected, and generally insane in the relationship.
A month later they returned and we could feel the difference between them. There was a positive energy and a connection that hadn’t previously existed. While a lot of the things they did during their time of “Off the Wall – Out of the Box” we really can’t print here, these are a few that are good examples:
• On a Thursday afternoon, the husband came into his wife’s office with several bouquets of flowers. It was unexpected and she greatly appreciated it. He then left and returned in about 15 minutes with more flowers. He left and returned again in 15 minutes with more flowers. This went on until 7 pm that night. Her staff joined in the celebration and began to cheer as he arrived every fifteen minutes.
• On a Saturday morning, the husband woke and found his wife gone. On her pillow was a note telling him to go to the kitchen counter. There he found another note telling him to go to the car in the parking garage. This went on for about 10 different locations which ended up in a hotel about 60 miles out of town. There she met him and they had a wonderful day together.
• Other adventures included leaving the car by the side of the road and impulsively running into the woods to see what was there.
• Taking a ride in a helicopter, when they had planned to simply go to dinner.
• Trying a Vietnamese restaurant they happened to see (neither had any idea what Vietnamese food was).
• Taking a day to travel in a westerly direction until they found something they liked or looked like fun.
In life we only have around 80 years we can plan on before it ends. Being with someone and enjoying them is a blessing that can make the life we have a true joy. Living “Out of the Box, Off the Wall” can make the romance really come alive. Ever tried it? Why not share your experience.
In my book "Forever Yours", a couple navigates their journey from from the early 60's into the present. The obstacles and joys of life both challenged and encouraged them to live "Out of the Box, Off the Wall." Find out more at Amazon. Click here.