I Like Me

One of the primary requirements of good relationships is the ability to like yourself. 

If we are counting on  someone to create our positive self respect, then we will always be a reflection of how they like or dislike who we are, which is really dangerous. 

Here is a little exercise we use to help meditate on self respect:

Respecting our self

Make an internal commitment to respect yourself and to feel worthy of all life has to offer. 

The law of sowing and reaping attracts disrespect when we're affirming we are unworthy and we literally say to the universal source of all, "STOP THE FLOW OF ANYTHING I DESIRE, WHICH IS COMING IN MY DIRECTION, BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IM WORTHY OF RECEIVING IT."

If we want to harvest corn we have to plant corn. If we plant wheat, we will not harvest corn. This is the law of sowing and reaping embraced by all major religions.
In addition, the law of physics states, for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.

If we sow our negativity and unworthiness the universe around us will will respond, causing us to reaffirm our inner conviction of unworthiness and attract even more disrespect in a multitude of ways.

The provider of all things can do nothing other than provide. A tree grows and receives provision so it reaches its potential. It receives because it doesn't know how not to. 

We are the same as a tree, but our ego comes up with thoughts which block our provision. God, the source all good things, will keep providing, it is our negative expectation which turns away the positive provision. In the vacuum we create, the negative things fill the void.

Reflection for meditation:

I am not my body. I am not my accumulations. I am not my achievements. I am not my reputation. I am whole and perfect as I was created!

Thoughts for the Journey of Life

Over the last years, as a couple and as practicing therapists, we watched our journey take many different detours and adjustments, but as a couple we have tenaciously held on to our journey plan of loving each other and making the best of what we experienced.

Our new book is a compilation of some thoughts and exercises from our journey, which we anticipate may help others as a roadmap or a GPS to keep them on course in order to reach their destinations. For more information on how to order our book (click here).

A Relationship Vision

What if someone asked you why you have such a great relationship - what would you answer? 
We have a great relationship because_____________________.

A lot of relationships are so lost that filling in the blank would be impossible. Here is a chance to start working on a relationship vision that will enable you to fill in the blank. If we don’t have a vision of what we want, we will never have anything.

Relationship Vision

An exercise to find the potential in your relationship

1.     Each partner takes a sheet of paper and writes a series of short statements describing their personal vision of a deeply satisfying love relationship. Include qualities you already have and want to keep plus qualities you wish you had. Write each sentence in the present tense, i.e. “We are loving parents,” “We have great communication” etc.. Make all statements positive such as “We settle all differences peacefully” rather than “We don’t fight.”

2.     Share your statements with each other. Note the items you have in common and underline them (common thoughts). If your partner has statements you agree with and have not put on your sheet, add them to yours. Ignore for now the ones you do not share.

3.     Now return to your own list and rate all the statements from 1 (very important) to 5 (not so important)

4.     Circle the ones that are most important to you.

5.     Put a check mark by the ones you think would be most difficult for the two of you to accomplish.

6.     Work together to design a mutual relationship vision. Start with the items you consider most important. Put a check by the ones you both consider the most difficult to achieve and complete the list with the relatively least important. If you have a statement which causes conflict, try to find a compromise statement. If you can not, then leave off the list.

7.     Put the list where you can read it daily and once a week, read it aloud to one another. Work together to build a relationship vision.

Example:

We have a great relationship because _______________.

Bill                                                                                  Sally

1               We have fun together                                   1

1               We settle differences peacefully                  1  

1               We worship together                                    1

2               We develop friends                                      1

1               We have a deeper intimacy                          2

2               We save money                                            2

3               We travel                                                      2

4               We visit our parents regularly                      4

5              We share the same political views                5

Please comment on this so we can all share together. What are your thoughts? Email us at nyccc1@aol.com or comment below. If you want to be a follower of the blog, click on the Followers box on the top right of the post. The blog is also on Twitter at http://twitter.com/@jttwerell.

 Thoughts for the Journey of Life

Over the last years, as a couple and as practicing therapists, we watched our journey take many different detours and adjustments, but as a couple we have tenaciously held on to our journey plan of loving each other and making the best of what we experienced.

The new book is a compilation of some thoughts and exercises from our journey, which we anticipate may help others as a roadmap or a GPS to keep them on course in order to reach their destinations.

For more information on how to order our book (click here).

OUR SOUL

It is interesting that Psychology is derived from the word Psyche which is interpreted “soul”, yet the Encyclopedia of Psychology has no entry for the soul. In our previous blog “we are one”, we explored the impact of Quantum Physics on our modern spiritual journey and showed how this science breakthrough clearly demonstrates how all things are connected, as all things begin and end as energy.

As we discussed, this energy comes from one source and we are one with this energy. Most spiritual journeys agree this creative energy source is God.

As theologian George Hermes states:
 From one Soul of the Universe are all Souls derived.

If we truly are one, then why are we so divided in so many ways? One common reason for this is we do not understand how we are all connected by the energy of our souls, for it is the soul, which connects us to the core of all life, God. 

If I go to the ocean and fill a glass of water, I have the ocean in the glass. It may lack the power and dynamic of the ocean, but it is one with it. We are the glass filled with the energy of God, we may lack the power and dynamic of the source, but we are still one with it.

If we don’t believe in God, then we are on a journey, which will be controlled by our interaction with the physical and not consciously part of the soul. However, even if we are thinking we are disconnected and do not believe in God, we are truly still connected by this soul energy; we are simply not taking advantage of the power this energy provides.

We do not have a soul, we are a soul and this is the common basis of all relationships. If I allow the human, physical world to define relationship, then I will be at the mercy of the ever changing and unpredictable natural world.

But if I connect to who I am as soul and merge this connection with another soul, then this relationship will have the ability to be guided by the strength and beauty of the universal source of the soul. 

WE ARE LIKE ISLANDS IN THE SEA, SEPARATE ON THE SURFACE BUT CONNECTED IN THE DEEP. 

 WILLIAM JAMES 

These thoughts depict the relationship reality for both romantic connection and friendship with others. But the true relationship begins with the relationship to who we are as individuals, for we are not someone who has a soul, we are the soul. 

Thoughts for the Journey of Life

Over the last years, as a couple and as practicing therapists, we watched our journey take many different detours and adjustments, but as a couple we have tenaciously held on to our journey plan of loving each other and making the best of what we experienced.

The new book is a compilation of some thoughts and exercises from our journey, which we anticipate may help others as a roadmap or a GPS to keep them on course in order to reach their destinations.

For more information on how to order our book (click here).